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I'm in love with a girl. and I can't tell her. this is going to be a long couple of months.
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Dear Livejournal, and fellow creepers of LJ...

Why is life so confusing? Why are there so many open ended questions in life? If i do one thing, this may happen, but if i don't it could blow up in my face. Repercussions are a bitch.
We are brought into this world to make an "impact" on other peoples lives when truth be told 99% of us never do. We live our lives working jobs because we have to, not because we want to, and for what? A date of birth and death on a tombstone that our relatives will forget in 6 months.

I've got a lot of shit going on in my life, and my life may be changing drastically within the next year. I'm in a new band with my best friends that i've known for 5 years and we're planing on making this the band that works. We tried with And Then Came The Waves and we failed. We didn't fail, per say, the pieces just weren't there to fit together. We want to go on tour in summer. Music is my passion; my life. I enjoy waking up on a Monday morning and counting down the days until our next show. I enjoy talking about new merch, or new ideas for writing, etc, etc.

I want to go on tour for 6+ months a year. I want to travel the country in a van with my best friends and get lost in Idaho in a snowstorm.

I have set a few goals for myself.

1. Start saving money so i can get ahead and not have to live paycheck to paycheck.
2. Look for an apartment in March.
3. Go on tour in the summer.

If these don't work out, come September, I'm packing up my car with all my belongings and moving to Virgina or North Carolina. That's the truth. I've got just under a year to get shit straight. If not, I'm out.

Seacrest, Out.
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it's those times when you stop to smell the roses.
it's those times when you drive past a billboard and it becomes a blur.
when grass on the other side of the highway becomes a muddy smear as you go about your everyday routine.
it's those times when you're wishing for the light to turn red as you pass through it so the person in back of you will rear end you.
it's those times when you wish a medical disaster went wrong on your body during operation.
when hospitals look so inviting as a safe haven from your everyday routines.
it's those times when you lay yourself to sleep at night and fall into a sleepy daze, and you start to ponder.
"if i were to die tomorrow, who would come to my funeral? who would be crying? who would be distraught? i bet he or she wouldn't come. well maybe, they might. would he ever know that i died? would she forever be burdened with the fact that she never said goodbye? what about him? who would remember me in 3 years?"
Thats all death really is. Your name on a tombstone that no one ever visits.
We're born, and can't remember birth.
We die, and can't remember death.
Whose to say our mind isn't one big cave and we have to go digging for the memories that we're told aren't there? If i could shrink myself small enough, I'd climb into my mind with a shovel and chip away at the layers and layers of memories until i found the ones of my childhood. When bubbles and sidewalk chalk could entertain me for hours.
One could look at it as our eyes are the lenses.
Inside of minds are reels and reels of film. Everything our eyes see get recorded onto that film and put into a big storage vault. I want to find that vault and be able to rewind and fast forward through various parts of my life.lifeisatickingtimebomb.
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Just for once i want you to walk out on me; So when you return i can walk out on you.
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In 7 months, i better be on tour. new band is so legit. can't wait.
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